Marisa 'eM' Louw

  Friday, 25 October 2019 - I wake up in an anxious mood. If the surgeon is happy with how my wounds are healing I will be starting chemo today. Hubby is irritable this morning. I guess it is because we never know what is going to happen when we meet the surgeon. Each time we go there it seems as if something else is wrong: complications, more surgery, more complications, more procedures... What will today bring? Should I pack an overnight bag for yet another hospital stay?  At 8 am we got into to the car and I tackled the trip from Parys to Rosebank behind the wheel of the Black Widow. We arrived just in time for my 9:45 am appointment. The surgeon examined my wounds and expressed happiness at the healing process. My left wound still has stitches in after last week’s fat necrosis complication and my right breast is healing really well after the debridement procedure on 27 September. New skin is growing nicely and have covered almost the full area of the wound. He gives me th...

© Norman G Geldenhuys - 1975 I walk this Earth, sampling with thanks and pleasure the gifts She offers. I weep at the ravage as Her bountiful resources are raped and plundered. I shun the ways of the young and restless, who seek gratification in financial means only, and I abhor, as nature abhors a vacuum, the mindless collections of the materialistic. For my ways are simple, and my needs are few. My pleasures cannot be bought for any price, only those on the path may attain them. The breathtaking beauty of a sunset, and the glorious splendor of a full moon, bind me, and make me one with the cosmic greatness of the universe. I know, as do my kin, that at these mystic times, I am infused, nay, blessed with the greatness and wonder of the Lady, She who walks the heavens, She who is the Mother of all. I celebrate the changing seasons, and accept that in all endings there is a beginning, and in all beginnings an ending. I know that the process of death starts at the moment of birth, and th...

  It is so easy for negative thoughts to consume you. At first, you don't realise it much, but later one negative word can affect everything you think and do. When you focus on the negative it can destroy you from the inside out.  Since my breast cancer diagnoses at the end of July, the word 'cancer' became an obsession. Almost like the squirrel-obsessed dog in the movie Up. In the four weeks following my diagnoses, I went for a myriad of diagnostic tests and at least two doctors' appointments every week. My first thoughts when waking up was about cancer and the many 'what ifs' that accompany any life-threatening disease. At this time I was very busy at work, so did not have much time to consult Dr Google too much. Then I had a mastectomy. The four weeks following the surgery was the worst. It is much easier for negativity to take over your life when your head feels like it is attached to a stranger's body. Having never had any kind of surgery before in my l...

  I'm scrolling through the Twitter hashtag #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth and even though there are more stories of survival than anything else, I cannot deny that I am afraid. My body is recovering well after the three surgeries I had on 1 August (lumpectomy - 1 hour), 30 August (bilateral mastectomy and reconstructive surgery - 3 hours), and 29 September (debridement - 1 hour). Yesterday I managed to drive the 140 km from Parys to Joburg and back for business meetings. I was fatigued and sore by the time I arrived back home, but I am slowly getting my independence back. My body is still suffering some unpleasant side effects from being on antibiotics non-stop since 30 August. The last dose is today and hopefully, I won't be put onto another course when I see the surgeon tomorrow for a follow-up. Tomorrow I'm also meeting another oncologist for a second opinion. The first oncologist still hasn't confirmed to me in person what stage my cancer is in. I have a stack of rep...