Like a headless chicken

 

As you may be aware by now, I have been diagnosed with aggressive grade 3 invasive lobular breast cancer about three weeks ago. I have since had a bilateral (double) mastectomy and will be finding out whether I will be receiving chemotherapy this coming Monday.

Those of you who know me knows that I am level-headed and able to do multiple things at once. I am a hard worker who is dedicated to my clients and work-related commitments. My personal affairs have always played second fiddle. But over the past three weeks, I had to learn to put my personal affairs first. And it came with several sacrifices - some by choice and others forced.

Being diagnosed with cancer has, so far, been an administrative nightmare! First and most frustrating is being passed from doctor to doctor to doctor. And each visit comes with diagnostic tests and a medical bill that is not covered by my entry-level hospital plan. My inbox looks like a tornado hit it with all the invoices from doctors, pathologists, radiologists, nuclear medicine specialists, hospitals, and pharmacies.

Eventually, three weeks after being diagnosed, I received a call from my medical aid to explain to me how my oncology cover works. Now I have to collect all the medical bills, proof of those I paid, and those that have not been paid yet, and submit those all to the oncology review panel with the hope that the fund will pay for all these doctors' visits and diagnostic tests. I cannot focus on work because I have to do my personal admin.

Then there is the matter of my debt rehabilitation. Yes, up to now only my closest friends knew. In 2015 I signed up for debt rehabilitation because I tried to live a lifestyle to keep up with the Joneses. This got me into serious financial trouble. But that is not what I want to talk about here. I am now disputing a critical illness benefit that according to my client portal is part of my debt rehabilitation cover. The company is now telling me that I declined this 'additional' cover but they cannot prove it. The admin relating to this matter is taking up even more of my time. And I am going to fight it to the very end unless they can prove that I declined this cover they say is additional.

To top it all, I negotiated a new freelance contract in August. While negotiating the contract I was open about my diagnostics tests and that there is a possibility that I may have cancer. I received a job offer and accepted it the second last week of August. When I received confirmation of my cancer diagnosis and informed the company that I have to go for a mastectomy on the 30th of August, they cancelled their job offer leaving me without an income for the remainder of the year. Thankfully the company I was contracted to in August was kind enough to extend my contract with another month, but at 40% capacity which means my income is 60% less than usual. And if you didn't know, I am the main bread winner. My husband is an opera singer with three singing students. His income per month is just enough to pay for our housekeeper and gardener. So we don't have the luxury of a fixed household income to support my freelancing career. I also don’t have any life insurance or policies that pays out dread disease cover. Show me a freelancer who can afford this kind of luxury products...

This resulted in me having to sell the car I gave my husband as a gift on his 40th birthday. The sale went through this morning but the mountain of admin has taken up so much of my time over the past couple of days. At least the sale of the car covers our household expenses and my debt rehabilitation payments for the next two months.

And then there’s the matter of me trying to get some rest so that my body can heal from the major surgery it received 11 days ago.

I feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken!

I cannot concentrate on work. I do not have the energy to do new business development and look for new clients. I get referral business but it seems as if companies are hesitant to work with someone who has been diagnosed with cancer as I am struggling to 'close the deal'. Perhaps it is because I am never available as I have been spending more time in hospitals, doctors' rooms, and in bed the past three weeks than in front of my computer working. I don't know.

I am exhausted. I am gatvol. I am the headless chicken, defeated by my unplanned circumstances...