A letter to my younger self
It is my view that we all experience a measure of financial strain. That no living person is excluded from the stress brought about by money, or the lack thereof.
The property magnate with billions in the bank may have it all but desire something that money can't buy. Not having that something perhaps leaves him sad and depressed. The middle-class mother of a single-parent family may drive a mid-market car but works two jobs to keep up with the repayment thereof. All for the sake of her children, to give them the best she can. She possibly cries quietly at night. The informal dweller may have less financial commitments but have to live from hand to mouth daily. Imagine waking up in the morning, not knowing where your next meal will come from. You have your financial challenges, and I have mine.
Yesterday, my husband and I took a decision to put my cancer treatment on hold because we have to spend our money on other things that are more important, like food and shelter. Unless my oncologist can arrange a transfer for me to a public healthcare facility.
I am angry, sad, and experiencing a general feeling of disappointment in myself for doing things and making decisions that brought me to this point. And that is why I want to write a letter to my younger self.
Dear Younger Self
I have lived for 46 years and have learnt some valuable lessons along the way. Knowing you, I know that you will read this letter and then discard it. But I am going to write it anyway. I hope my advice will someday help you along your journey.
Love conquers all. Finding true love will help you weather storms, unlike anything you can imagine. When perfect love and perfect trust cross your path, treasure it with all your heart. In dark times your love will guide you. As true love's bond deepens, it will shine a light so bright that it will be a beacon for others, a signal that no matter what, love stands strong.
A little kindness goes a long way. Showing kindness to those around you is as effortless as smiling at the cashier at the local store, or listening with attention when someone talks to you. By all means, get angry, but don't allow your anger to stand in the way of settling a disagreement amicably.
Spend your money on things that matter. Save, yes, but enjoy your hard-earned money. By that, I don't mean you must surround yourself with material possessions. I suggest you invest it in a home. Buy a reliable car. And when you are ever faced with difficult times, remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs:
- Physiological: air, food, water, sleep, shelter
- Safety: personal security, employment, health
- Love and belonging: friendship, family
- Esteem: recognition, status
- Self-actualisation
Maslow regarded physiological needs the most essential as all the other needs become unimportant until these needs are met.
Be happy! Nothing matters to me more than your happiness. I don't want you to focus so much on the future that you forget to live today. What does it matter if 'the future' means one year or ten or twenty? If you are happy today, tomorrow does not matter much.
And, in the words of a good friend, spend as much time doing the things that are important to you. Making a living goes without saying, but spend time loving the people around you and allowing them to love you. Spend time with your animals. Their unconditional love cannot be replaced or underestimated. Spend time being the person you want to be. Don't react, proact. Do what you love. Be what you love!
Live your life without regrets. You are allowed to look back but never dwell on the past. You are going to make mistakes, make the wrong decisions, and you will suffer the consequences. But you must do what you think is the right thing at the time.
Younger self, you grow up to be a strong woman. One that others look to for inspiration. They may not know your deepest fears or your darkest moments, but they will recognise the warrior woman that you become. You are allowed to cry and be emotional, but remember who you are.
Love,
Your older self.
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