My chemo diary: Day 91

 

Thursday, 23 January 2020 - Tomorrow, I will be receiving my 12th chemotherapy treatment. Six more to go after that. Since 25 October 2019, I have been receiving 120mg Paclitaxel, 400mg Cimetidine, 12.5mg Phenergan, 250mg Solumedrol, and 1mg Granisetron every Friday. On 22 November I also started receiving 600mg Herceptin every three weeks for 18 months. My body and mind have different reactions to the treatment. 

At first, I did not feel anything unusual. My hair started falling out around day 25, but I did not lose all my hair - just severe thinning thereof. Around day 49, I started suffering swelling of my face, body, arms and legs due to water retention. Walking became a bit of an effort because swollen feet hurt when you step on them. I am taking medication for this every morning. Around day 77, I developed a rash all over my scalp, face, chest, and back. By day 87, I have gained almost 7kg, and my clothes don't fit. This morning I woke up with my first mouth sore. 

My energy levels are inconsistent, and my sleeping pattern all messed up. I couldn't keep track of my where my mind was at, because it is all over the place. One day I am positive, and the next all I want to do is die. For three days, I am feeling upbeat, and for the next four, I am down in the dumps. Then I have a week of feeling good and suddenly two weeks of anxiety.

Looking back, what I am going through now is not nearly as bad as the four surgeries I've had between 1 August and 30 October last year. At least now, I can be active without discomfort. I can go ahead with my normal daily activities like picking up my dogs, washing my car, and typing on the computer. I am dreading the other operations that are still to come. Because of complications, my right breast's reconstruction was not successful. After chemotherapy, the surgeon will make another attempt to reconstruct my right breast with a series of procedures over a couple of months.

What I dread most is the hormone-blocking therapy. I am not sure what exactly it entails yet and will discuss it with my oncologist before I start the treatment. What I know is that the process involves cutting off all estrogen supply from my body, forcing it into early menopause. I try not to read about it too much because what I read scares me a lot. It is not like chemotherapy, where one treatment cycle is around 18 weeks. Hormone-blocking therapy for premenopausal women like me is a five to 10-year treatment cycle. 

Since my diagnoses in August of last year, my life changed significantly. But one thing did not change. I am the luckiest woman alive to have such a loving and supportive husband. The oncologist says that usually, especially for breast cancer, the husband comes to the first chemotherapy session and then she does not see him again for 17 weeks. My husband has been by my side for every surgery, every doctor's appointment, every chemo session. He was the one who cared for my wounds, who helped me regain the use of my arms after my double mastectomy and the one who loves me as passionately today as he did the day of our first kiss 24 years ago.

He loves me so much that he started a crowdfunding campaign to help raise funds to pay for my cancer treatment. Our medical aid has an oncology benefit of R200,000 for the year (August to August each year). Once we reach R200,000, we have a 20% co-payment to make for all treatment. So far, the costs relating to my cancer treatment amounts to R400,000. I still have seven chemo sessions to go at about R20,000 per session, another 21 Herceptin shots at about R15,000 each, more surgery and hormone-blocking therapy. 

My birthday is on Friday, 31 January and instead of coffee and cake, I'll be getting chemo drugs. If you can and want to give me a birthday present, you can donate here.