My chemo diary: Day 41

 

Wednesday, 4 December 2019 - Tomorrow will be my seventh chemotherapy session. It feels almost unreal to think that I’m already on Day 41 of my 126-day chemo treatment cycle. My hair started falling out on Day 25. Other than that, I cannot say that I have any noticeable side-effects (yet). 

Let’s talk about hair loss.

When I speak to women in the breast cancer support group, most of them fear hair loss more than any of the other chemotherapy side-effects. I can understand why. Without hair you are exposed. But you must know that hair does not make you who you are. It is not easy having to face the real you, stripped naked for the world to see. You cannot hide the sadness in your eyes by letting your hair fall over your face. And you cannot express sensuality by untying your hair from a bun and shaking it loose to fall over your shoulders. Like the sexy biker-chick that takes off her helmet, or the swimsuit model who gets out of the pool. We use our hair to voice our mood, whether we realise it or not. 

Most women I speak to, who experienced hair loss during chemotherapy, has a selection of wigs and/or head scarves. I bought a few head scarves but they make me look sick. And I have no wigs. Firstly, it is way too hot to wear a head scarf or wig. Having worn many wigs on stage for opera productions I know how hot and uncomfortable they can be. And I value being comfortable. What I did not consider, however, is how easy the scalp suffers sunburn. I now carry a cap with me wherever I go.

How does it happen?

Hair loss, like each cancer diagnoses and every chemotherapy regime, is an individual experience. It is not exactly the same for each person. I remember washing my hair on Day 25, and something made me look at my hands. My palms were lathered with shampoo, and covered in short, dark, straight hair. When I rinsed the basin there was hair everywhere. I ran my hands over my head and looked at my palms again. It was not a bad dream. My hair started falling out.

Over the next couple of days I did not observe as much hair coming out as I did on that first day. But soon I started noticing that I can see more scalp than before. And my hair felt softer and more fluffy, making me feel a bit like a newly hatched bird with knit-one-slip-one down feathers.

Why does hair fall out with chemo?

Not all chemotherapy regimes result in hair loss. When a chemo drug attacks fast-growing cells the first sign that the drug is working is usually hair loss. This is because hair follicles are of the fastest growing cells in the human body. And because the chemo drug cannot distinguish between good and bad cells, the patient therefore looses their hair. 

Some chemo drugs only affects hair on your head, others affect hair everywhere on your body. I have noticed that my eyebrows and lashes also started falling out. And yes, I’m also losing my pubic hair. 

Advice for coping with hair loss

• Always wear make-up. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but make sure your cheeks are a healthy pink and that your lips have some colour. 
• Invest in striking earrings. Get some jewelry that suits your personality and that will draw the attention away from your bald head.
• Smile! A friendly smile that extends beyond your mouth into your eyes is the best way to distract someone from staring at your shiny scalp. 

Loosing your hair does not have to be a traumatic experience. Embrace who you are and let the world see a different you. 

Your hair does not define you. 

Your attitude towards life does. 

So get up, get going, and show the 

world what you are made of.