Letting go is never easy

 

When a loved one has a terminal illness, saying goodbye and letting go is never easy. During my 47 summers in this life on earth, I have had to say goodbye to so many of my furry, feathered, and scaled children that I lost count. Some got their angel wings due to fatal accidents, others because of illness, and some of old-age. One would think that it becomes easier with time, but it never does.

It is a blessing that I have not yet experienced the heartache of watching a human soul mate or family member close to me fading away with a terminal illness. But I have endured it with my animal children, and the pain and sadness are just as real because the love I have for them is no different than the love I have for my human significant other, family, and friends.

Lady Jane was a Toypom puppy who slipped off the basin when I washed her bum, and her tiny body was limp and lifeless. My boyfriend at the time worked as a volunteer firefighter, and my first reaction was to call the first responders. The ambulance arrived within minutes, and the paramedic attempted CPR and used a straw to suck the fluid from her lungs. I stood by and watched, in tears, as the men tried to save my baby. Later that afternoon, I took the small fluff of fur to the vet to be cremated.

Pikku-Karhu was only nine weeks old when the vet diagnosed him with a liver shunt. I knew that the disease would consume him yet when, five an a half years later, the day came for me to say my final goodbyes, it tore my heart into a thousand small pieces. He lived his life as a little fighter, and his fighting spirit will be with me until my soul ceases to exist.

I met Mitsukai for the first time when she was only two days old. Days before her seventeenth birthday, it was time to bid her frail soul farewell. I held her in my arms while the vet administered the fatal dose of the drug that will set her spirit free. As she faded away, I sunk to my knees and wailed like a wolf who just lost her mate. 

There were others: Pikkie-Pom, Pammy, Nadezhda, Chaussettes, Figlio, Ebony, Pookie, Hitomi, Jonah, Ebony, Louis, and countless birds and fish. And today I am preparing to say goodbye to Chanellie whose health is on a sharp decline after a kidney cancer diagnosis two months ago. I look at her where she is sleeping in a dog-bed, and my heart aches. Over the last week, she withered away. The vet says that her body is busy consuming itself for energy because she stopped eating a while back and I've been feeding her with a syringe. If I wait much longer, she will start suffering.

How I wish #assisteddying is available to humans. DignitySA is on a mission to advocate for a change in South African laws that would enable mentally competent adults the option of a dignified death, should they so choose. Letting go is never easy, but I believe that there is comfort in knowing your loved one will not have to suffer. We do it for our animal children, why can't we do it for our mothers, our fathers, our sisters, our brothers, our husbands, and our wives?